Starting with our 12th year

Sometimes we pray for things for years and nothing seems to happen. Sometimes it seems that the Father is on mute when it comes to our personal lives, while still speaking to us about other people.

There are a few stories that flow together. My mother had a back operation 2 years ago. My brother’s oldest son, Reuben was reconciled with my parents after there was almost no relationship because of conflict between my brother and his wife, and my parents. Things were left unsorted for years. Hard-headedness from both sides robbed them from valuable relationships for about 15 years. This was the beginning of a reconciliation process that has been postponed for 3 generations between father and oldest son.

Since our first child was born and I stopped working we have been struggling financially, but we have never been without food. My husband got out of teaching to self-publish his book in 2010 and we started our own multi-faceted business. It had been an exhilarating, yet difficult walk. He had been trying to find a job for the last few months without being successful. Many times I would go to a friend and say that it feels that the Father had forgotten us.

On 11\11\2016 a friend of ours was killed in an accident. He was literally crushed between a concrete wall and a fully loaded traylor. Part of his function in the body was to protect the heart much like the rib cage does. His death exposed the heart and showed us that the love in the body got hurt critically. He was a father in Africa and the wound will take a long time to heal. His death just exposed the spiritual wound that was already there in the body. His life was about the secret chord of unity where we create a space of grace for each other even though we may not agree in areas. Much like the 2 sides of DNA that will never meet, but are connected with struts that bind them together in a unique pattern. With Stephan’s death a multiplication of who he was took place in the understanding of the body around him. 11/11 became 22:22.

In Isaiah 22:22 Isaiah 22:22 it says: (Voice in the Wilderness)  ‘And the key of the house of David I will lay on his shoulder; so he shall open, and no one shall shut; and he shall shut, and no one shall open.’ This references to. Rev 3:8 ‘Revelation 3:8 (VW)  I know your works. Behold, I have set before you an open door, and no one can shut it; for you have a little strength, have kept My Word, and have not denied My name.’

My eldest brother called me a week before our 11th anniversary which is the start of our 12th year together. He wanted to organize a family get-together at my place on our anniversary without knowing that it was on the same day. My whole family was there. Even my brother and his oldest son came. They have not spoken to each other for over a year because of a deadlock in their relationship. Reconciliation has not taken place yet, but at least they saw each other. Even the code of the buns that I ordered was 22. On our anniversary we received a car as a gift. The car is 11 years old.

After the family gathering I realized that if you turn one 2 of the 22 to face the other one as a mirror image it makes a heart with a foundation, looking like the cherubs covering the mercy seat and like buffalo horns connected in the front. When we find ourselves in a ‘catch 22’ situation one of the 2’s must turn in our heads first so our place of grace and love can be restored, so we can rule, be joyful and thankful in our circumstances.


My husband accepted a post at a new school yesterday after months of searching and our business has picked up in great leaps in the past few weeks. I don’t quite understand why it took so long, but I know that the Father is busy weaving a tapestry of which we only see the back and sometimes a glimpse of the front. When the back seems like a mess we must just trust the one that sees the whole tapestry.


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