The Grace Tango


In the previous article I asked whether we want to remain a mad king nation.

The solution starts with all of us as individuals. When we look at each other from our own graceless protection mechanism, we look through fear, suspicion, generalisation, prejudice and doubt. From this point of view we look for the bad things in each other and expect to be decieved and hurt by other people on the one hand. On the other side we enter into a relationship or friendship with huge unspoken expectations of ourselves and the other person. These expectations are usually much higher than either of us can meet. We even place people on pedestals. When they are human, make mistakes and don’t fulfil the big unspoken dreams we have for the friendship, we more than often get offended and discard the friendship as if the other person has no value anymore.

In the Tango scene in the movie ‘The scent of a woman’  the main actor says: “The tango is not like life. No mistakes. When you get tangled up, you just tangle on.” When we can have grace with ourselves to tangle on after we made a mistake and even laugh at ourselves, because we know Who loves us and that Yeshua’s love is not based on our meeting of a list of rules and expectations, but simply on who we are in Him, we can have have grace with others. Our true eternal identity can either be a weapon for destruction or a tool for healing. When we work with truth without grace it becomes a destructive force of false expectations for ourselves and others that grows into an idol in our hearts against who no human or Yeshua can ever measure up. When we are in this place people cannot feel safe with us since they always have to perform. We cannot even feel at ease with ourselves because in our minds we constantly have to live up to the false image of the performance idol in our head.

These expectations become swords and different weapons of destruction that we use in various clever ways. We justify ourselves in many ways. Taking responsibility and letting ourselves and someone else bear the consequences for their actions becomes a weapon. Life does that all on its own. We need to learn to have grace with each other in the consequences while learning to take responsibility for our own choices. Too often we blame our actions on someone else.  No one can make us angry! If that were true we would have no authority over our own emotions and reactions. This would mean we are getting tossed around by everybody and everything around us. If we choose this we hand our eternal authority to choose how we respond to the people and circumstances around us. When we choose to respond with grace and wisdom, which is a prayer away, we start to take back our authority and use our eternal identity as a grace-tool, not as a destructive weapon.


Let’s lay down our spears of prejudice, false expectations and fear and take up the eternal identity with which each of us had been blessed to build and love each other from a place of grace. Let’s love each other as He has loved us.