Missing mom and RAD (MMW-Missing mom wound)


Missing mom.

When Harp starts to argue,manipulate and play me and
Barnabas of against each other I know it’s just a symptom of something way
deeper. The therapists call it RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder). It sounds
complicated. Here is a summary as best as I can give it. When a child is
removed from their main care giver (in Harp’s case his mom), when they are
younger than 4 years for long periods it starts. They find it difficult to
attach to someone else since the first person that had to look after them was
taken away. Instead of attaching to the new mother/father figure they treat
them with anger, hostility and ingenious manipulation. When they are alone with
the new mother they do these things but when there are other people around they
are the sweetest children. Harp does it in such a sharp way that his dad
sometimes doesn’t realize it till I had too much and get angry with Harp. When
he gets like that I can know he misses his mom and needs me to spend some time
alone with him. I call it MMW\MDW (Missing Mom\Dad Wound)

It is much better than 6 years ago, but with him it’s a slow
healing process since his mental and emotional capacities ranges from 2-5
years. When it comes close to crucial times like his birthday it gets worse
when he does not hear from his mom. After working through it every time it gets
better though.

Is there anyone out there that also deals with children in blended families and has to deal with MMW\MDW in their family??

Shalom.

HS

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